The #1 Reason Men Reject Their Perfect Woman
When Holly met Colin three years ago , she believed they were perfect for each other . They had the same black humor and also appreciated the same films and television shows . They both wished to begin a family in the next couple of years .
They even had the exact same favorite childhood story – The Velveteen Rabbit – a sweet coincidence he often pointed out when friends asked about how they met .
So when he all of a sudden broke up with Holly one rainy October day, she was completely blindsided.
“I can’t comprehend what happened ,” she explained “He had previously told me that he’d written down a checklist when he was a teenager of all the things he wanted in a partner , and that I met his criteria and more . And just last month he was talking about taking vocal classes so he could serenade me at our wedding.”
Sadly , Holly’s experience is far from unique . According to dating and relationship expert Clayton Max, it’s not unusual at all for a guy to reject a partner , even if they seem to be a perfect match .
“What many women don’t understand ,” Max says “is it does not matter how ‘perfect’ she is for him ‘theoretically ‘. She might check all the boxes on his list, but when it comes to moving the relationship forward, he still may lose his way . “
Because, despite taking pride in how logical and sensible they are , Max states , “Males don’t pick a partner based upon who is the most rational option for them. Instead , they choose the woman that makes them FEEL certain things.”
What do they need to feel?
Max says that men are naturally more scared of committing than womenare , however their minds actually come pre-wired with a mechanism that bypasses this fear with the ideal partner .
Max calls this The Infatuation Instinct , and when it’s turned on , it essentially shuts down the part of his mind that feels panicked . All of a sudden his reactions of doubt disappear , he feels a sense of certainty about the woman , and he’s ready to move mountains to be with her.
When deciding between a woman who makes logical sense or one that ‘s activated his primal infatuation reaction , guys will choose the one who ‘s activated his infatuation impulse one hundred percent of the time .
So what are the vital tips for a woman who wants her man to commit deeply to her?
- Accept the Facts
A huge mistake that women make, is wishing men were different than they are. But a guy can no more control these feelings of uncertainty he has about committing for life than a woman can control her thoughts .
As a matter of fact , when he has a feeling of being misunderstood for his vulnerability , it only increases the anxiety and guilt he secretly feels , making him more likely to run away instead of trying to work things out .
By accepting that this is simply the way men are wired, and not pushing him, it provides you room to focus on what DOES make him certain – triggering his infatuation impulse .
- Don’t focus on convincing him
Many women fall into the trap of trying to be his ‘dream girl ‘ , by exhibiting all the ‘good girlfriend ‘ qualities , like being an excellent listener, being loyal, attentive, generous, and passionate .
They’ll note out all the reasons they’re a perfect match , or they’ll try to figure out what qualities he wants in a woman , so they can display them when he’s around.
In either case , they’re trying to attract his ‘logical mind ‘, which in this case is not running the show .
Women do this over and over , despite the fact that this strategy practically never ever works , leaving them let down , and angry when the guy winds up going with a woman who has almost none of the qualities he claims he wants .
- Concentrate on activating his infatuation instinct
The only way of getting a man to commit with his entire heart, so he’s absolutely certain a woman is the one for him, is to trigger his infatuation impulse .
A guy ‘s infatuation response is switched on by a few very specific traits in a woman . Things like intrigue , boundaries, and also unpredictability , which stir a feeling of excitement and a desire to chase after her .
While most women attempt to show a guy how committed she is to him hoping that this is going to make him feel secure to give her his heart, this more often than not just intensifies the stress weighing him down , because at this moment , he’s even more terrified of losing his freedom and sense of self than losing her.
To learn more on how to activate a guy’s infatuation instinct , including exact scripts that do exactly that, watch this free video presentation.
In it, you’ll learn about the ’emotional tripwire’, which places a man in infatuation mode, without him realizing why.