Archive for the ‘Dating Humor’ Category

Online Dating Scams and How to Combat Them

Thursday, December 18th, 2008
Dr Dan asked:


you would have had conceptual idea about what romance scam is. In this article, I’m going to quote some real-world profiles and messages used by romance scammers on my site to illustrate how scammers make up their stories. These profiles and messages were reprinted without any alteration. So you will see some spelling and grammar errors. Free Dating Free Chat rooms

Profile examples

Profile #1

I am emotional and passionate, open and kind, very serious about life. I have great sense of humor and I adore smiling.I am a good hostess, kind and communicable person, with good sense of humor, but have serious attitude to life, very vulnerable, also I am reliable, responsible and careful. I do not use make up, I always prefer natural beauty. I like sun, the sea and the beach. In the future I would like to have 2 children (a boy and a girl). i am looking for a real man, a real gentleman who knows how to treat a real lady like me, who is not afraid to have a beautiful young wife close to him and who will appreciate such kinds as loyalty and will be ready to give it in return.I hope to meet with the man of my dreams - very cheerful, generous, tender, kind and at the same moment strong and purposeful.I want to meet a man, who will be the only one for the whole life, who will love me. I would like to be treated like a queen.

Profile #2

I don’t like fake people, drugs, or couch potatoes. I love diversity and I enjoy people that are down to earth. I desire to become a better person inside and out. I’m a music fanatic. I have a hunger to learn new things. One of my hobbies is studying photography. One of my goals is to become a model. I like positive people and I try to surround myself with people who have an open mind

Profile #3

I am an open, loving, and romantic woman who enjoys reading, listening to music, and watching films. I love to cook, especially for others. I have a sense of humor which is a little left of center. I ‘ll admit that I have a tiny bit of baggage, but it’s more carry-on than check-in. I am definitely ready to meet Him, the man I am meant to grow old with. I think about him

What is most important to me is to be with someone who enjoys my company, has a tremendous amount of warmth, integrity and loyalty with honesty and great affection. I am not a partier and would prefer to be with someone who, while he enjoys a good time, doesn’t necessarily want to burn the candle at both ends. I am a morning person. I love to wake up, read the paper, go for a walk and start my day on a high note. I am totally over cynicism. I love a dry, but good-natured sense of humor. I am looking for someone who posseses personal style and takes care of himself physically and emotionally but but best i can take care of him better that he may think he do . Most of all, I want to meet someone who is not afraid of love, committment and my free spirit. he most be attractive, sensitive and possesses integrity, warmth, and an earthiness that draws me in. I prefer a men who have experienced in life a bit. He must enjoy traveland if he desnt , well its okay by me because i enjoy travelling , i have been so meny country, the arts, and be well-educated or at least intelligent. I am not looking for perfection, just someone who is in touch with himself and is honest about what he wants in life. My perfect match will totally get me: my sense of humor, occasional intensity, and quirky habits. I will adore him , feminine men: soft skin, cute hair, a dab of lipstick. I love to be cooked for but can best do that , to be spoiled on occasion. I am not high maintenance, but flowers or a love letter are nice. I love celebrating big moments…and little moments.

Message examples

These messages normally start with a sense of desire to know more about you and in return, show you more about me.

Message #1

My name is Helena and I am 29 years old. I have no kid. I am a very personable person and I like to be involved in a lot of things. I have a problem at the moment wich is just a minor setback for me and I have a lot to catch up on when I return home. I don’t have anyone in my life (friend or family) at this time and I do get lonely. I’m using this as a means to meet new people and stay updated on fashion!! . I also will pursue my modeling career upon my return home. I am not looking for love, just a companion. If love should fine me then I’m open to it, I will like to hook up sometimes but at the moment I am having a big problem Thats is making things hard for me that’s why I said when I return dont know if you care to know what my problems are. Hope to hear from you soon!u can email me diectl to my email hvendetta@htomail.com

Message #2

I am very family oriented, although i have no children. I am definatly real and in West Africa now. Remember that your best friend in the whole world was a total stranger at one time. Get to know me, there are no complications in my life and i’m versatile like vanilla ice cream. I am, can be and will be full of nice surprises. Most of all, i’m sincere I’m not looking for one nighters or friends with benifits. I want someone to share love and life with. ;-)

My man would be my angel. And how do we treat angels ? With respect and love. And like we really appreciate them.

I’m not into the niteclub scene and my life would appear boring, but I have fun and those around me do also. I don’t have or want “drama”.

I’m only here to find my partner, than i’m done with online chat. I want someone attractive and healthy but not perfect, and if you have kids… great !

Either way ” I want to have kids in my life also ” I feel that I would be a great mother if the right person is willing to share that LIFETIME responsibility.

My group of friends is small by choice and there’s room for another. If your heart is beating a bit faster now… it could be you. Anyways im presently in west africa, Nigeria for my job(work for an importing company as the sales rep. Sells and Exports African Fabircs (Atire), If you’ve got a Y! IM to communicate, you can as well just put my first and last name together you’ll get my IM id.tobyjhonson at yahoo .co.uk or goldenheart09 at hotmail.com

hope to hear from you. Looking forward to findout the chemistry between us ;) Ur #1 Fan, Toby.

Message #3

Hello, This is Angellina from Cowandilla in Australia ,i go through you profile its look nice and lovely. I am a sexy, loyal, and devoted woman who’s looking for a man to please me.Someone to share personal moments with, enjoy life and to firmly hold the blessings of a lasting and undying happiness. I am willing to relocate to a secure foundation a steady relationship and to meet the terms,I’m a strong,sexy, smart, independent female with many goals and lots of drive. I like romantic evenings and bedroom talk. I’m a real woman looking for a real man,and i hope you will be the real man to me.If you’re really interested you can e-mail me direct to this address angel064luv@yahoo.com or angel064luv@hotmail.com or add me to your messager list.

Message #4

This how it happened 10yrs ago my father died in Tribble car accident and before then i was doing fine had a good job and my own place which i gave up because we had to sell the family house because there was a big mortgage on it,my sister had her own problems at the time and she has her own place and family so i couldnt leave my mother on her own so we rented a house together,we where both doing fine then b4 she had a cancer and died when i could not get money.some days afther i heard a friend of my who lives in nigeria she has an accident and she was in the hospital i have to move there to see her health when i arrive there i lost the hospital address and it night and i can’t get flight at night cos it too dangerous for me to go home at nigth i have to log in a hotel for me to go the next day in the midnight some mens came so they attack me and stole all my money goods i brought In the hotel and they ran away but they did not hurt me i try to explain things to the hotel but they will not believe me so they said all they need is there money so right now am stucked in a hotel in nigeria and all i now to come back home is to pay the hotel bill and i will be glad if you can



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Why do women like dating men with a sense of humor?

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008
Secret Asian Man asked:


I’m a good guy, I volunteer, I don’t do drugs or get into trouble. But I just lack a sense of humor, that’s my personality.

Kansieo.com

Humor Dating Rules to ***** Up Your Bones

Monday, October 13th, 2008
Francis Githinji asked:


Some of the dating rules are very hilarious and it does not sound right to call them just rules. The best thing to call them is humor dating rules. When i visited some of my friends recently i laughed till i could not laugh any more after a man said that among his dating rules is that he does not date girls who have fat or ugly friends. Number two of his rules is that he does not date girls who think pot-bellies are not ****. They are just not fit to date together with one who does not praise the size of his manhood no matter how small it is. Another one came up with a really funny one. That a woman should never date a man who still lives in her mothers house after he is 30 years old. They argued that chances are that he has some hidden bodies under the board.

The lady also came up with other humor dating rules which had every woman thinking quiet hard. Do not date a guy who has the guts to go round in a car for a whole hour looking for a cheap parking space or to make it worse a cheap petrol station. You might laugh it off but it is serious. This sends a message that the guy is very mean with his money. For a relationship to prosper you need to share financial problems and a mean person makes you jump to the next one who might be a little more generous. The no romance without finance is a truly applicable slogan.

Ladies be warned. Do not take them as just humor dating rules they are real. Do not date a man who does not like showering. You might be subjecting yourself to torture of having to put up with a smelling partner. Do you want to leave under the shadow of your mother-law? Mama boys are dreaded by many women. That is why you should not date a man with a boob’s fascination. Why? Because the guys still want to be around their mums as long as possible. It is a sign that they adore their mother. Do not even think of going anywhere near a guy who has blow up dolls. It is not safe.

There are funny men who will tell you about their mental disorders on their first dates. To make it more humorous they propose to you on that very first date. Girl, run for your life because this is not funny. Humor dating rules state that; do not hang around with a guy who cannot scratch his balls in public. He is not disciplined enough to follow rules and regulations since this was taught to every guy by his primary teacher. Do not date a guy whose only idea of romance is a pat you on the back. These rules are funny and it is your choice to follow all of them. Do not blame me if you will be single after the age of 30.



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How to Get Responses to Your Online Dating Ad

Saturday, September 27th, 2008
Ayesha Khakwani asked:


For many people finding the person they want to settle down with is their ultimate goal.  Of course, that means that you will have to date.  If you have decided to place a personal ad on one of the online dating services, how can you be assured of getting a good amount of response?

Remember that everyone who is placing these ads are trying to do the same thing you are.  You will have some competition from other would be suitors and you will need to find a way to make your ad stand out.  If you don’t get very many responses the first time you place an ad, don’t give up.  Your ad might just need a few tweaks to get the responses you are after. 

Your descriptive skills need to be worked on.  Learn how to describe yourself honestly and accurately.  But you should be able to do it with some flair and humor.  Don’t be afraid to use a little humor in your ad.  It shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously and are a fun person to be around.  Make sure that your ad is truthful about the things that you do and do not like.  It lets the reader know that you know what you are looking for and take the search seriously.

Don’t go on and on about your dating failures.  There is nothing worse than reading a personal ad that is filled with the deceptions and pain that this person has gone through.  While the pain and failure might be very true it is a sure sign that you are not ready for dating.  If you find that you are not ready for dating then maybe you should put off your dating ad for now.  Wait until you heal enough to write an ad without mentioning your other relationships.  Of course, it’s okay to mention a thing or two about dating in the world today if you can do it with a little humor.  The other person is most likely experiencing the same things you are and would probably appreciate your humorous outlook on it. 

Don’t give up on your online dating ad if it generates little response.  Keep plugging away until you write the ad that gets the attention.  It might be a case of trial and error.  Keep track of the things that you have tried that have not worked and make sure you try a new approach the next time.  You will eventually hit the target and get the attention of many respondents. 



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Dating & Chat - Friends - Dating for a Wife - Types of Dating - Free Dating - Dating Tips

Sunday, September 7th, 2008
Dating Expert asked:


Dating and chat may be considered the best friends finder today for all kinds of relationships and ***. It is advisable that we make at least one friend every five years because as we grow or as we move on with life we loose some of our good buddies along the way something that may seem to be like natural wastage. Sometimes we fall in and out of love, we change and adapt and we finally end up with a group of our best personals. It is therefore important for us to keep exploring and searching for new experiences to make this life better.

A good relationship results from good friendship in its simplest form where we meet on a one-to-one basis to chat, discuss and basically find out if we get along well enough to a level of even becoming husband and wife. It’s not about if we are attracted to their face, legs, or hair, or just for sex, It’s about what we have in common and how well we get along for example do we have the same belief system, same passions, humor, outlooks, laughs and all the other small details. If we do, then this may now be considered to be an excellent relationship.

Trust and friendship are crucial factors to any successful relationship. You have to trust someone before you love him or her and to love them you have to take the risk of opening up your heart as early as possible meaning you have the willingness to trust and make that person your friend, wife or husband. There are no quick paths to eternal happiness, successful dating is strictly about starting a good healthy relationship and loving the people involved unconditionally with no malicious intentions like interest in money and ***. Start dating now and build a relationship. Make friends, chat and fall in love. at: http://datingonlinesingles.blogspot.com



Dating Humor

Become a Guru at Internet Dating and Singles Chat Sites!

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008
Mr Online Dating asked:


We all need dating tips, whether its online dating, first date, perhaps even if we think we’re a seasoned professional.  None knows it all and some  help can go a long way.  The purpose is to help you achieve your ambitions in dating and meeting some friends, whether it’s just a casual chat or something more serious.

We make it simple for you by introducing the vastness of the dating world with a few tips to help you date in an effective and safe way.  Meeting a new friend for a chat may be your style, or maybe you’re combing the online dating world for your one real love.  Perhaps you’re a single who just desires to meet many other singles.  It doesn’t matter why you want to meet people, what matters is how to get this right.

Meeting new friends or looking for a special partner can be a daunting task, but it needn’t be.  Try not to make it all too serious and just have some fun. If you are meeting friends, dating online or offline, searching for a companion, whatever your style, it should be a memorable experience. With so many online dating sites out there nowadays the choice is up to you, and without pressure, in a safe environment.  The key is to stick to a few simple guidelines and gain from the experiences of other singles.

A great way to begin is with your online dating profile.  Assess the content, not just what is written but the manner it is written.  An otherwise interesting profile is often ruined by spelling mistakes, and not checking grammar. For a few online daters this can be a concise factor in whether they decide to chat to you or move on to the next profile.  With so many choices in the online dating game these days it’s very easy to move past to the next profile if yours doesn’t compete. This is particularly crucial for singles looking for a special partner, who really need get past this initial stage.

Online dating profiles should also be concise and truthful.  We live in such a hectic and time poor society today that singles don’t have the time to wade through wordy profiles and if you happen to stretch the truth chances are you will be found out eventually.

Best to keep your profile light and cheerful.  Getting too serious too soon is a turn off.  If you’re good at a little humor give that a shot but steer away from corny lines, yuk!

Perhaps include some interests, likes and dislikes, without going into too much detail just yet. If it appears like you’re getting up on your soap box perhaps to get right back down and steady on.  You’re looking for a companion, lover, partner, etc, not political opposition.

Remember to add your photo to your online dating profile as other singles may just wonder what you’re hiding if you appear faceless, and it increases your chances by 90% of getting a reply.  Be sure to appear calm and relaxed. There is nothing negative with looking your best although remain careful you don’t enhance your photo too much.  If its your desire is to move from chat in the online dating world to a face to face meet in person any exaggerations will be noticed and you will both be left disappointed.

It’s also a smart idea to alter your online dating singles profile sometimes to keep other singles interested.  It shows you’re putting in the hard work - guys, women love effort. If you discover you are not receiving many responses, making some changes may give it a boost.

 

If you’re sending messages contemplate how you like to be spoken to then use that as a guideline. Politeness and respect should be an obvious approach.  Keep the chat easy and light at first.  There’s always time to talk about other serious topics as you become more familiar with each others boundaries.

 

The Online dating and singles environment does pose some concerns for singles in regard to privacy issues, its best not to include your personal details in the beginning.  Wait until you have built some trust prior to sharing more personal details.

Look for things in common, perhaps talk about a fun experience.  It’s often appealing if we laugh at yourself.  

Don’t ask questions that appear too probing.  If questions are asked that you wouldn’t want to answer then its highly possible that neither would someone else. If someone doesn’t wish to answer one of your questions don’t be too pushy about it, move on.  There will be more time to get personal if things develop to the next level.

http://www.hookmeup.com.au Singles Free Online Dating,  Chat Rooms & Internet Dating

 

 

 



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Dating Conversation Tips: What A Potential Couple Needs To Know

Monday, June 16th, 2008
Ann Marier asked:


Dating can be quite a lot of fun, but it can also be quite stressful too. Although some people prefer to have their relationships become serious after only a couple of dates, dating is ideally more of a gradual process of getting to know each other. Thus, it is important to utilize some dating conversation tips during those first several important dates.

Dating Conversation Tip #1: Finding Common Ground

Whether the couple met through friends, a dating website, or some other method, there must have been a reason why the couple has chosen to go out on a date in the first place. Yes, physical attraction is important, but beyond that, it is necessary that the couple find similar interests.

Thus, as a dating conversation tip, when it comes to similar interests, the easiest way for someone to start a conversation is by asking the simple question, “What do you like to do in your free time?” Most likely, the other person will list off a variety of different things. If one, or even several of those things are also liked by that other person, that person should immediately mention that.

Those first few conversations might still be a bit tense, with each person not knowing what interesting thing to say to the other person. However, once someone has used the dating conversation tip about asking what the other person likes to do, and found common interests, that can be used as the basis for a variety of humorous anecdotes about those interests.

Dating Conversation Tip #2: Use Humor

No matter how serious a person is, chances are that person still likes to laugh at something. Humor is necessary in any dating scenario, because not only does it lighten what might be a stressful situation, but it also creates the opportunity for the couple to create private jokes between each other, which is a fun way of solidifying a relationship.

Dating Conversation Tip #3: Learn from Differences

Although it is important for a couple to share similar interests in some things, it would be boring for a couple to like all of the same things. Thus, during a conversation it is important to mention hobbies that the other person might not enjoy but be curious about, and this could be the basis for a future date.

During these initial conversations, it is important for the couple to keep the conversations light, and not too personal. More personal conversations should be reserved for if and when the couple decides to have a serious relationship. Above, all, it is important for the couple to relax and be themselves, because dating is, after all, supposed to be a fun experience!



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Dating When You Are 50 In Baltimore

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
Michelle Smith-Billups asked:


Some call this Senior Dating, Black Dating or over the hill dating in Baltimore.

I call it hysterical! As the owner of two online dating websites (one for Black Singles and one for Senior Singles) AND a black dating service (I give dating events) you would think I could at least find some datable men. YOU would be wrong!

It had been almost two years since my husband’s death before I even considered “dating” again. The gentleman was really nice, could hold a conversation but was not really my type. Now mind you, my type has been all over the place so I don’t have a type per se. However, he was not “it.”

That indefinable “it” that lets you know up front just how far to take this thing. So, for me, right now I am taking everything very slowly. Being a widow does have its advantage. One of the advantages is it will buy me time. So even when I KNOW this is going absolutely no where, most men have the common sense and tact not to rush or push me. Great for me. With the slim pickings here in Baltimore, slow is the only way to go. I have been just friends with a man only to find out six months down the road that I really REALLY like this guy. So my method is to take my time, feel the gentleman out and let things unfold as they may. But fellas Please help a sister out!

While I will admit I have been a little spoiled (my husband dressed his self and me very well and was always slim), I am not yet ready to deal with massive beer bellies, nose or heaven forbid ear hairs! Nor am I willing to be seen in public with some one who has on plaids with prints (wtf) or squeaky leather shoes, let alone sandals with crusty feet. What is going ON?

OK so, Yes, I do judge all my friends on their character, ability to hold a great conversation (not the one sided conversation where he talks and I yawn), along with a good sense of humor.

A women’s erogenous zone has always been between her ears, most women don’t realize that until their innate “hotness” has worn off. AND the man of their choice now is sporting one of those beer bellies. To take me to dinner a few times does not constitute an invitation to spend the night (What? You want to stay here?) I need just a little more than that. I can assist with the dressing as needed, but please get rid of those PLAIDS AND PRINTS! A man who can talk and listen is what I am seeking. A great sense of humor and adventure are always a plus. These are truly the golden years. I can do this alone, but would rather be with YOU!

If this is you, hit me on my website. Ladies, happy hunting and good luck to you!



Kansieo.com

Why do people primarily look for shallow characteristics while dating?

Sunday, May 11th, 2008
Right Back at Ya asked:


Why do sometimes, people aggressively look for shallow, eternally unsatisfying characteristics in other people while dating?

like *** and money

instead of humor, respect, humility, generosity, ambition, etc

And then when things go downhill they start complaining and cyring about the same things about the person that they were attracted to (or lack of in the other category)?

Kansieo.com

Why do sometimes, people primarily look for shallow characteristics while dating?

Sunday, April 13th, 2008
Prashant asked:


Why do sometimes, people aggressively look for shallow, eternally unsatisfying characteristics in other people while dating?

like *** and money

instead of humor, respect, humility, generosity, ambition, etc

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