Ayesha Khakwani asked:


At Devil Called Love, we’re here to help you be successful in dating and meeting new friends. It’s what we do best. We want to take this opportunity of providing you with some hints and tips on helping you date safely, and successfully find that special person.

 

You may wish to make and meet a new friend. Your main interest may be in dating online or dating in person, you may wish to find love and romance, perhaps the person you dream of marrying. It could be that you wish to travel or play sport or an activity and need a companion or other activity partner to come along.

 

The key to meeting new friends is to have fun, relax and enjoy. Devil Called Love is an excellent example of a dating site environment in which you can do these things safely and without any pressure. If you decide to meet someone there or in the outside world, then we feel there are some basic ideas you should follow for your personal comfort.

 

Of course, we cannot take responsibility for your actions using our services, as you are all adults, but we can offer some advice based on our own experiences.

 

Okay, so what can you do to help yourself?

 

First you need to get replies to your emails and messages. To do this here are some tips you may find helpful:-

 

Think about how your profile is written. Ensure there are NO spelling mistakes in your My Own Words section and your emails and messages. This is the first   important rule.

 

Keep your description short but be completely honest. If you are not being truthful then when you meet, you will be discovered, if not before.

 

Add fun and humor to your profile, and don’t be too serious at first.

 

Don’t be afraid to state who you wish to meet and why. Most adults know the kind of person they are attracted to, even if they are not sure why.

 

Tell people what you like and perhaps things you don’t. Don’t be offensive though.

 

Take your time, you can edit your profile at any time. Change it occasionally to keep it fresh, and try to be original.

 

Add  photos to your profile. We find that DCL members with a photo can get anything up to 10 times the amount of replies, in comparison with those that do not include one.

 

Be polite with messaging, and don’t make judgments about the length of time to get a reply.

 

Please don’t feel you need to block someone just because they are too busy to chat this time. Be cool.

 

Keep your first email short and to the point, perhaps humorous and interesting. Don’t include too much detail at this point, and just a few things that you have in common. Make the email talkative and allow it to flow. Don’t be too serious at this stage or too emotional.

 

Do NOT include you personal details in an introduction email. Leave that until a relationship is established, and you feel very comfortable with the other person.

 

Try and contact a few people at the same time, but always those who you have matched, not those who you have nothing in common with as they will not welcome your contact.

 

Be honest and stick to the truth. It is all too easy to add things that at this stage are not checkable. However, you may get caught out later and ruin a fantastic friendship or romance.

 

Always reply quite quickly to any messages.

 

Don’t talk about money or possessions at this time. Most people like or love someone for who they are, not what they have. We assume you do not want to find someone who simply wants you for what you can provide.

 

Do not apply any form of pressure in an email, whether it be for a reply or a meeting. Do not be critical of their profile or photo. This will create a negative response.

 

Okay, so once you have mailed other members and are receiving their emails, then you may wish to consider the following:-

 

Ensure Your Privacy is Protected

 

The information you supply when you register at Devil Called Love is completely confidential. Your registration details are kept secret from all members and under no circumstances are made available to any third party.

 

No one will ever ask you for your password. They must NOT use your contact or email details for marketing purposes. Any member who matches you in their searches can only see what you have told them in terms of your personal profile, nothing more. Remember

 

 Not to include your actual email address or telephone number in the text of your profile or in emails unless you are sure that you would like to take your friendship further. We can not access your emails and do not have any control on what information you supply to another member. If someone you are in contact with is not giving much away then perhaps you should err on the side of caution.

 

Listen to Your Intuition

 

Often overlooked I feel. This is the thing we all use on a daily basis and we all trust our intuition often. It’s easy to get carried away when someone appears to be interested. Remember the rule, if you suspect something, you are probably correct.

 

Trust your judgment. Listen to what you are being told. Ask many questions. Don’t give too many details away if the other person tells you very little. If someone is being honest, they will be happy to tell you about themselves and their lives.

 

A key point is to make sure that you are enjoying your online dating. Never ever let someone pressure you. If you don’t want to explain something or provide certain details then do not. A real friend will behave in a patient and relaxed way. After receiving an email, sit back and think about what you are being told, take your time and try and sense the person behind the email. And read their profile thoroughly.

 

When the Time Comes

 

At some point you may wish to meet in person the friend you have made. Remember the rule, you only have to meet someone if you really want to. If you feel uncomfortable about meeting, then don’t agree to meet. Even if you have agreed, you can change your mind whenever you like. Perhaps you need to chat for longer, perhaps it would be better to use the phone first. Do not give out your home number, address, or personal details unless you are sure about the person you wish to meet.

 

If you do decide it’s time to take your friendship a step further, then here are some things to think about. It may save you a great deal of time and effort: -

 

Ask yourself these questions:

 

Do you feel you know the person well?

Have they answered all your question?

Are they patient, good humored and fun?

Do you trust them?

Have they applied any pressure on you?

Do you know what they do for a living, and the area they live in?

Do you know about their background and family?

Have you seen their photo and have you more than one photo of them in different situations?

Have you spoken on the phone?

Are you sure they have described themselves truthfully?

 

If you can answer YES to these happily then maybe it is time to meet. Only you can decide that. Think about these general dating rules, and act upon them if you think they are a good idea :-

 

Tell a person close to you about the meeting. Tell them where you are going, when you are meeting them, where the meeting will take place, what time you will be returning. Give a person close to you as much information as you can. If you have a mobile phone or are close to a pay phone then perhaps call to say you are fine and that everything is great.

 

Agree to meet in a public place first. Perhaps a restaurant or bar or somewhere where there are plenty of other people. Agree to meet somewhere that you know, in familiar surroundings where you can relax and enjoy the meeting. You could arrange to have other friends in the same place but at a distance, so you feel more relaxed.

 

Do not agree to be collected from work or home, and make your own way there and home on the first occasion. Perhaps get a friend to take you there and collect you afterwards.

 

Restrict the time of the first meeting. Perhaps a lunch hour or a short time after work. This is useful if you decide that the situation is not favorable and you need to leave.

 

If at any point you wish to leave then do so. Do not feel obliged to stay and find yourself feeling awkward. If you do not feel relaxed then you will not enjoy the date. You owe it to yourself to feel happy and relaxed, and it is possible that it may take a few meetings with different people before you find that special person.

 

Long Distance Relationships

 

Online Dating through sites like Devil Called Love means that you can easily meet people from all over the world. This is a fantastic way of dating and perhaps very soon you may find yourself emotionally involved with someone who lives a long way away.

 

Perhaps that may be part of the attraction even. However you should try and be practical. If the person lives overseas then ask yourself the question as to are you serious that you will travel a long way to see that person? If you do travel and find yourself more than happy, then how easy will it be to keep up the relationship? If you are content with this situation, and you decide to meet then there are some other things you may wish to consider:

 

ALWAYS stay in a hotel you have arranged yourself, and never stay at their accommodation, however generous. This will allow you both to feel less pressure, to relax into the situation and find some common ground. You may have both made promises in mail or on the phone that may be harder to keep once a meeting has occurred. If possible, arrange the hotel in a secure area of the city you are visiting, and arrange the hotel yourself. It’s always easier to escape a date that’s not going well, when not staying with them.

 

Provide the details of your hotel and travel arrangements to a best friend at home, and make an arrangement to contact them when you arrive, after you have met your new friend and when you are returning. Take a mobile phone if possible and keep in contact.

 

Always be cautious if in any doubt, and never be uncomfortable about changing your mind and returning home at any time should the situation cause you any concern.

 

The Bottom Line

 

The bottom line? Be yourself and enjoy your dating. We know that online dating can be great fun, safe and immensely enjoyable. We have found that as long as the basic precautions are followed, then it is possible to travel locally, or indeed, anywhere in the world to meet a special partner or make new friends.

 

 The beauty of dating online is that the whole world is open to allow you to meet fantastic new people. Just use a little intuition and common sense. We hope you don’t mind us offering some basic tips and wish you every success.



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Josh Greenberger asked:


At what point is it time to bail out of a relationship?

We often hear of relationships which start out bad but straighten out in the end. We even hear of relationships which start out good but then turn sour. But when a relationship starts off with all the romantic overtones of a documentary on the Asian flu, develops with the smoothness of an intoxicated chimpanzee doing a waltz on roller skates, then blossoms with the colorful brilliance of a malnourished vegetable, you know something’s wrong. Such was my nine-month relationship with Sally. (Sally was not her real name. But that didn’t come as a terrible shock, since her age and hair color weren’t real either.)

That we were headed for rough times, was somewhat obvious on our first date. We had just seen a Broadway musical. Walking towards the car, I tried starting a conversation somewhere along the lines of “music,” “dance,” “scenery.” How I failed so miserably I’ll never know. Instead, she asked me if I could do her a favor and take her dog to the veterinarian the next day. I said, “But we hardly know each other.”

She said, “So? Does my dog have to suffer because we hardly know each other?”

As we drove to a restaurant, I sensed her attitude turning somewhat hostile. I started feeling guilty about not agreeing to take her dog to the vet. Her dog, I said to myself, probably had two broken hind legs, and Sally probably had to visit a sick aunt in the hospital. How could I be so inconsiderate? But when I found out her dog was going in for his annual chest X-ray, and she had an appointment with her hair dresser, it made me furious. Was her hair more important than her dog’s health? And I couldn’t help wondering how, many packs a day did her dog smoke?

This is when it occurred to me that this date was not on the right track. Here we were between a play and a restaurant, and she was hostile and I was furious. I had a more cordial relationship with my parole officer.

I thought, maybe we ought to go back to her house, start the date over, and see if we can get it right. Then I realized what an unrealistic thought that was. What if her parents moved out while we were out on our date? She could become my responsibility. At least in the restaurant there was a chance she might fall in love with the waiter and I’ll go home alone.

We headed straight for the restaurant.

I had a feeling the hostility did not end in the car. As we looked over the menu, she suggested I order large portions for myself. I asked, “Do I look that hungry?”

She said, “No, you look lean and undernourished.”

I asked, “Why do you say that?”

She said, “Your toupee is loose.”

“I don’t wear a toupee. My hair is just a little messed up from keeping the car window open.”

“Well, my ex-husband wore a toupee and he looked just like that.”

“Like what? Lean?”

“No, messed up.”

“Where did he buy his toupee?” I asked. “In Mop-City?”

She replied, “Who cuts your hair? Jack the Ripper?”

And so, the mood was set for a romantic dinner. I ordered lamb chops, she ordered well-done steak. When we got our orders, she insisted her steak was not well-done and had the waiter take it back. While we waited for her steak, we tried discussing a topic which could not possibly lead to any kind of dispute or resentment — we remained silent.

A couple sitting at the next table looked at us, obviously amused. I said to them, “Would you believe this is our first date?”

As they both laughed, the guy asked, “What would you two do if you were married?”

I replied, “We’d probably shoot Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles at each other.”

When Sally’s steak arrived, I was a little embarrassed when she insisted her steak was still not well-done enough. The waiter looked quite irritated. In an attempt to avoid a scene, I whispered, “Sally, please, don’t give the waiter a hard time.”

She said, “Don’t worry about it. I can handle him.”

I said, “Don’t be silly, he has a day job as a demolition expert for the Parking Violations Bureau. Your car’ll never be safe in this town.”

“I don’t care if he’s a Swat Team coordinator for the B’nai Brith,” she replied angrily. “That steak is not well-done and I want him to take it back.” Sally and the waiter looked at each other like two disgruntled hockey players about to strike each other with a puck. It was not a pretty sight. At that moment, it became painfully clear to me that my chances of going home alone that evening were unfortuntely rather slim.

As the waiter grudgingly took back Sally’s steak once more, I knew I must be strong enough not to let little setbacks turn into major obstacles. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. We were still on good terms with the busboy.

In a short few minutes our waiter returned from the kitchen, carrying a tray with two plates. One plate contained a small stack of ashes, the other plate contained a steak and a blow torch. He leaned over and said to Sally with a smirk, “Which one would you like? This one,” pointing to the plate with ashes, “is already well-done, and this one,” pointing to the other plate, “you have to well-do yourself.”

In disgust, Sally turned to me, “Do you believe this?”

I said, “Take the ashes — the blow torch is extra.”

Our meal up until this point raised some serious questions in my mind: If a date ends between the main course and dessert, does the guy have to pay the entire check? If he does, does this restaurant have a back exit?

When I finally did pay the check at the end of the meal, I got this strange feeling that the owner wanted us as far away from his restaurant as possible — I got my change in Mexican currency.

Believe it or not, this date had a happy ending. I finally took Sally home — and her parents were there! I was never so happy to see a girl’s parents wait up for her. And I didn’t even mind hearing her father, who was apparently used to her coming home earlier, say, “You should’ve been home an hour ago.”

I was tempted to add, We should’ve been home four hours ago.

Strangely, I called her again only a week later. Despite all the things our first date left to be desired, one thing it was not — dull. And that ain’t small potatoes.

Three months later, we were still trying to get that first date right. Depending on how you look at it, things got a lot worse or very exciting. Agreeing on what to do on a night out always turned into something between a legal litigation and the Jerry Spriger Show.

On one particular rainy Saturday night I decided, rather than make the first suggestion as to where we should go, and start an argument, I’d leave everything up to Sally. The moment I stepped into her house, I said, “Tonight we go anywhere you want to go.”

She asked, “Anywhere?”

I said, “Anywhere.”

She shocked me with, “I want to go wherever you want to go.”

I said, “Look, if you’re not feeling well we can stay home and watch TV.”

“No, I’m feeling okay. Anywhere you want to go is fine.”

“Okay, let’s go bowling.”

She gave me a funny look, “Bowling?”

“Yes, tonight’s a good night for bowling.”

“You’re in a mood to go bowling?”

“I thought you want to go wherever I want to go.”

“I do. I just want to make sure that that’s where you want to go?”

“Yes,” I replied, “that’s where I want to go.”

“On a night like this?!” she screamed. “It’s raining and disgusting out there!”

“Bowling is indoors!”

After several moments of silence, she said, “Why don’t we go to a movie?”

Sarcastically, I said, “We can’t go to a movie. My dentist says I shouldn’t eat popcorn.”

“Who says you have to eat popcorn? Why don’t you **** a toasted marshmallow?”

By the time we finally left her house, half the night was gone and we were no closer to a decision as to where to go. The only reason we left was because we couldn’t even agree on which room to argue in.

Driving while engaged in a heated debate and having no idea where you’re going is next to impossible. You begin seeing every corner as a logistical dilemma. Do you turn left, right, or go straight ahead? It doesn’t really matter. But it could if you eventually decide where to go. Do you jump yellow lights? You don’t even know if you’re in a rush.

We finally reached a big intersection. No matter which way you looked there were about six choices — main roads, divided roads, service roads, dirt roads, etc. It drove me crazy. I pulled the car over and, in a rather loud tone, said, “That’s it! I’ve had it! We can’t go on like this! We make one wrong turn here and we wind up in Yukon. You know what’s in Yukon? Nothing! No movies, no bowling, no restaurants, absolutely nothing — just more roads! You want to wind up in Yukon?!”

A little shook up, she took a deep breath and said, “Hey, calm down. What are you getting so excited about?”

I said, “We have to make a decision now, before we enter that intersection.”

She said, “I already said I wanted to see a movie.”

“We can’t see a movie anymore — it’s too late. No movies start at one-thirty in the morning.”

“Okay, then let’s go bowling.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “Let’s not rush into things. There are still plenty of options open. We can go to the park and watch the dew settle on the leaves. We can take the Times Square Shuttle back and forth sixty-eight times and pretend we went cross-country. We can even go upstate to a farm and watch the hens crow at the full moon.”

She said, “Hens don’t crow.”

I said, “After listening to us for a few minutes there’s no telling what they’ll do.”

“And there’s no full moon out.”

“By the time we make a decision there will be!”

Some friends of mine were getting together in a nearby bowling alley that night. We headed in that direction. We arrived only to find out that my friends had already left and the entire bowling alley had been taken over by a group of Japanese tourists having a tournament. We were informed that the only way we could play is if we joined one of their teams.

Ever get the feeling “this is your last chance?” Well, I had a terrible feeling that this tournament was the last thing going on in the entire city that night. I decided we’re not taking any chances — we played.

The only one on our team who spoke english was the captain. And he had laryngitis. This was the first time in my life I bowled and played “charade” at the same time.

Although they were all a bunch of nice people, the disappointment of expecting to spend an evening with old friends in a local bowling alley and winding up in Japan, took its toll. My bowling was not quite up to par. In the first game, while Sally got five strikes, I got eleven gutter balls. Sally asked, “Didn’t you once tell me you were a good bowler?”

I said, “‘Good’ is relative. The people I normally bowl with get quite a bit of gutter balls — in other people’s lanes!” She didn’t buy my definition of ‘good.’ So I tried convincing her that in Japan gutter balls are worth more points than strikes. She didn’t buy that either. I felt crushed.

As the night wore on, I racked up so many gutter balls, I was sure the bowling alley was on a slant. But I said nothing. I knew the guy who built the place and I didn’t want to get him into trouble.

As I drove sally home, I couldn’t help thinking how the prospects of my becoming a professional athlete in Japan got shot right out of the water tonight. But I didn’t let it bother me. In Brooklyn, Pac Man still carried some weight.

By the time I walked Sally to her front door, I had almost forgotten that the night started in anger and hostility. It’s amazing what frustration can do to you.

As she searched through her pocketbook for her keys, she looked up and said, “You know, I had a rotten time tonight.”

I said, “Thank you. So did I.”

She said, “I don’t think I want to see you again.”

“I wasn’t about to ask.” I turned and walked towards my car. As I opened the car door, I looked back “What time you want me to pick you up tomorrow night?”

She said, “Eight o’clock.” We tried not to smile. I got in my car and drove off.

And this is how the relationship lasted nine months. Such relationships get too involved to end quickly. And they’re far too strife-ridden to last forever.

by Josh Greenberger from shopndrop.com



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Christopher Buckley asked:


Online dating is a great opportunity to expand your dating choices and meet new people. Even though a wide-spread stereotype is that dating websites are an arena for the desperate, they are actually effective way to meet other singles.

You might just be too busy to go out and meet people or just wanting to enlarge your social horizons. Or you may have just recently moved to a new town and haven’t had time to make friends. Whatever your reasons might be, an online dating service may offer you a fresh start.

However, as with any other social experience, it can also go worse than expected. This article is aimed to provide you with some better online dating tips to ensure you will make the best of this experience.

Flirting

The key to get what you want from an online dating service is flirting. Although some of you may think they cannot do it, it’s actually much simpler than in face-to-face conversation. All you need to do is learn about the different kinds of online flirting approaches, pick one that works for you and put it into practice.

Simple conversation

Online dating is generally carried out through chat or e-mail. A very useful better online dating tip is to keep your answers simple, short and sweet. Don’t write endless messages with deep meanings. It is safer to keep a light-hearted and upbeat tone. This has proven to attract more successful online dates. Ask questions in a simple and easy to answer manner and keep your answers simple too.

Screen names & Emoticons

Use screen names in your written conversation, not your real name. Find a screen name that you like and feel confident using. Emoticons are also nice, but they may become annoying or seem insincere if you use them excessively.

Self-confidence

Using a self-confident tone in your conversations is another better online dating tip. Self-confidence is an attractive characteristic. If you like yourself, others will like you too. However, be careful not to cross the line and seem too full of yourself.

Humor

Humor is also an appealing feature that can lighten up a conversation. If you have a good sense of humor, use it with confidence. Humor used with taste will always be appreciated.

Compliments

Everyone loves a compliment, that’s a fact. Surprising your date with genuine and sincere compliments is a great better online dating tip. If you receive a compliment yourself, don’t forget to say “Thank you!”

Enticers

Among the most useful better online dating tips are enticers used in your e-mail communications. You can try the classic pick-up lines or make up your own. However, keep them light and inviting so that you sound cute, interested and sincere, but not too pushy. This will certainly help you making a good impression.

Just following these simple better online dating tips will help you become a flirting master sooner than you expected and will ultimately get you that successful date you’ve been waiting for.



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Daryl Campbell asked:


If you are out on a date and you have to keep asking the other person are  they having a good time than that should be a obvious sign things are not going so hot.  Instead you should easily be able to tell what’s going on by the amount of laughter both of you are sharing.

Laughing on a date has a wonderful way of cutting thru any initial nervousness and potentially awkward moments. It puts you and your date at ease and goes a long way to establishing a good comfort zone that hopefully the two of you can use as a springboard to launch into a deeper relationship.

That’s not to say you should go to the library and read the history of joke telling volume one or rent the videos of every successful comedian who has ever done stand up. Chances are storing up this wealth of information and then trying to use it on a date will backfire.

Instead try to relax and find your humor zone. It may be a funny observation or a quick joke that fits into the context of the evening.  Quick is the operative word here. Sometimes when a story meant to be humorous starts to drag before you reach the punch line then a yarn becomes a yawn or a stifled one at least. When telling your joke it’s best to remember the old Hollywood maxim for movie making: Get in late and get out early. This is a very good way to keep your date’s interest. 

Now there’s another side to this coin and that is the mistake of overdoing it. You may be a very funny person with natural wit and timing. The key is to show some restraint.

Laughing at everything is not a good sign. Your date may appreciate your humor but they did not go out with you to watch you audition for a comedy club. Not taking anything seriously (even when your date may occasionally want you to) can get old and tired in a hurry. After awhile, your constant attempts at humor may have the other person laughing half heartedly as they start looking for the exit.

Also be sure to share some of that spotlight. Try to find your date’s humor zone and encourage it. It doesn’t mean you should laugh when they say something that is brutally unfunny but if it is funny than by all means let them know it. If the other person is still feeling uncomfortable this can be a major boost in helping them get over it.

Nobody wants to go out with someone who is serious to the point of dullsville. Any attempt at humor always escapes them. In fact they find a way to turn it into a serous point. Laughter on a date can be a powerful connector with many side benefits. Just remember don’t force it, don’t over do it and don’t be afraid to share center stage. Keep this in mind and you and your date will be hard pressed not to have a good time.



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Jane Saeman asked:


When asked the top traits desired in a relationship, most people are likely to list humor as one. Humor is something that seems to speak to the human soul. People use humor in many different ways, including to help nurture and maintain relationships. Everyone has encountered someone in their life who can make them laugh and they cherish the person and the relationship for that. Humor in relationships is a really good factor that can help make a relationship last.

There are many reasons why humor is important to relationships. The following explains a bit about how humor affects a relationship and the benefits it has.

- Humor can create a bond. Humor when used correctly can bring people together. It can make people like each other. People love having a good time and laughing is associated with a good time. The body reacts to humor in a way that people associate a humorous person with good feelings. That is why funny people always seem to have a lot of friends.

- Humor can open up communication. Just as humor creates a bond between people it also creates a feeling of kinship or trust. People feel it is easier to talk to someone who is humorous or uses humor often. Humor used in a constructive manner can really be a great way to improve upon communication in a relationship.

- Humor can change a situation. Most people have used humor to cover up something embarrassing. It is common because humor has a way of being able to shift the focus and change the situation.

Humor is not just a fun weekend night out activity. Humor can be found in everyday life. A person who can find humor in anything is someone who is likely to be well liked. People prefer someone who is happy to someone who is grumpy and funny people just tend to be happy people.

Humor can be used negatively, though. Negative humor can destroy relationships. It can create tension and it can be very destructive. Humor should never be used to belittle someone or to embarrass someone. Humor should always be upbeat and keep that crazy, funny edge to it.

Humor in relationships is a great stepping stone. Many times, though, people find a relationship that is only built on humor fades quickly. Humor alone cannot sustain a relationship. A relationship needs other factors in order to grow and last. Humor in relationships, though, is a great addition and is always welcomed. Everyone loves a good laugh and by using humor in relationships a person is likely to find they are generally more happy and their relationships are longer lasting then people who leave humor out of their relationships.



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Mr Online Dating asked:


Girls and guys love funny people.  Ever met a person at a party who appears to always have people wanting to sit near them and to be in their company?  We all love a laugh and an easy going, laid back partner who doesn’t put others down is just great at the dinner table.  But what about when online dating?  Is it enough simply to be funny?  Its certainly a start…

 

Laughing and making other people laugh is a big asset in life.  Laughing produces good hormones in the body that help people feel more positive, healthier and even tolerant of others.  Even though naturally funny people exist, making someone laugh is a skill that can be taught.

 

 

Real life stories are funnier than made up ones.

Great comedians draw heavily on their actual life experiences, so the joke is on themselves rather than on other people, drawing focus on little details that may have appeared insignificant and showing other people an insight regarding the workings of their mind.  As we can relate to the actual aspects of the story, the entire joke appears believable and the humor in it comes across genuine.  Comedians who are well known for this type of comedy include Billy Connolly, arguably the funniest scot alive.

 

Repetition, saying the same thing several times can cause it to become humorous.  Sounds unbelievable?  Sometimes pushing a joke beyond the boundaries works.

 

Misdirection.  A style many comedians  apply is misdirection.  This means they include a story that goes in a totally different direction to that that was expected.  Groucho Marx would use this technique. The basis behind this is that when the listener knows what is going to occur then it won’t be funny however by catching them by surprise, their mind can see the funny side.  Chevy Chase often uses this tactic with his joke telling.

 

Escalation is another different technique to be humorous.  This means that the story begins in a sensible, predictable way and then escalates into the very funny.  You add more and more funny dialogue until the listener begins cracking up in laughter.

 

Understatement is when you make an important topic seem really trivial.

 

 

Reversal means moving the story around so that it refers to the incorrect noun - like “residents dangerous to local dogs”

 

The error many of us make when trying to be humorous is to try to be funny non stop.  They end up sounding idiotic and embarrass themselves.  The answer to humor is to inject it into a story.  It is sometimes someone who is usually fairly straight, that comes across really funny when they throw in several random lines to a conversation or who then tell a really clever tale of their lives.

 

The main difference online is that you need to count on the content or context to display humor - sarcasm, unless you know the person does not work very well online.

  Free Online Dating Site and Chat Rooms for Singles Australian Internet Dating

 

 



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I’m the man! asked:


I may be moving there in ‘08 from Kentucky. I’d like to know how to get the 411 on what’s up in Houston nightlife and how the dating scene is.

Is finding a date easy or hard? Are the women predominantly friendly and chill or cold and uptight? Are the women attractive overall or not? I’m hoping the women are friendlier, more open-minded and attractive (and less “hillbilly”) than the ones in KY.

A little about me:
-Age 21, male
-Burly build (mostly muscle, a little fat but not very noticeable)
-Great sense of humor, but one uniquely my own (it’s not ********* or corny)
-Curly hair
-Blue eyes
-Great smile
-About to receive my B.A., with aspirations to pursue J.D. and M.B.A.

Southern and Texan women seem more laid-back and chill than Kentucky women. However, women isn’t the reason I’m moving to Texas, however.

Thanks for the input!
Oops! I said “however” twice in the same sentence. How silly of me!

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missy brooke asked:


i just like to get “men’s” opinions..

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Ryan Dube asked:


Dating can be one of the most challenging tasks in a person’s life, so having a few funny questions to ask your next date can certainly break the ice.

Why is Dating so Hard?

Dating is horribly painful for a very large majority of the population. Those who have found a partner, or have gone on to get married, swear that they **never** want to have to enter the “dating scene” ever again. Why is it so painful?

It is painful because most people are terribly self-conscious, and they find it extremely difficult to come up with topics to talk about with a perfect stranger. Throw in the fact that the perfect stranger might actually be so handsome, or so beautiful, that you are caught off guard - and your nerves may get the best of you. This kind of situation can turn a potentially wonderful dating opportunity into a disaster that you could regret for the rest of your life.

Funny Questions On a Date

Yes, dating is a time when you are informally “interviewing” someone about their life, their desires, and their life goals. You are hoping to find a decent match with your own life goals and dreams. But this process of “interviewing” someone doesn’t have to be a nightmare. In fact, learning about someone new in an intimate way can be wonderfully exciting and fun, especially when a little bit of humor is throw into the mix.

The following are some questions that you can toss into the conversation, in a light-hearted and joking way, that can serve to break the ice and help both of you realize that you don’t have to take this “dating game” so seriously.

Have you ever been arrested?

Now, you should never ask your date if they’ve ever been arrested at the very start of the date. But this question is best asked after a few serious questions. It will interject a tone of humor into an otherwise serious discussion, and will hopefully get your date laughing and will set you both at ease. The conversation would go something like this.

You: “So what do you do for work?”

Date: “Oh…I’m a beautician, I cut hair, and I also do makeup.”

You: “Oh that’s great! You must enjoy talking to people then.”

Date: “Absolutely, I love people - I’m totally a social butterfly.”

You: “I love it! I am too..and do you have a big family, brothers..sisters?”

Date: “No…I’m an only child. My parents pretty much ignored me..that’s why I’m so independent now.”

You: “I’m an only child too! Wow, we have so much in common…we’re both social, we’re both the ‘only child’…have you ever been arrested?”

As she looks at you with a raised eyebrow and a quizzical look, you should wait a few seconds and then laugh…”I am SO joking…”

The question immediately breaks up the monotony of a question and answer session, and prevents it from feeling like a formal job interview. As she laughs, it will help her reflect on the fact that this isn’t a job interview - and that you are willing to take matters lightly. You will immediately notice her relax.

Other Funny Questions for a Date

Some other odd questions to toss out in order to lighten up the mood includes:



What’s your favorite midnight snack?

What is the one, single food that you would never give up?

What is your weirdest “quirk”?

Do you have any relatives in jail?

Have you ever gone cow-tipping?

What’s your worst pet peeve?



 

The important thing is to come up with a question that would catch someone off guard, but you should also avoid being vulgar or rude. The question should be light-hearted, and just odd enough (and asked with the right inflection or tone of voice), so that your date can’t help but chuckle.

Humor is the ultimate ice-breaker, and used the right way, it can change an ordinary date into one for the record books.

Visit www.questionsthatmakeyouthink.com for books, quotes, information and resources about questions that make you think.



Caffeinated Content

Josh Greenberger asked:


Proper behavior on a date.

A formal date can mean different things to different people — a night out on the town, a Broadway play, a lavish meal, an intellectually stimulating encounter. Sometimes a date can mean nothing more than just getting out of the house. However, not observing proper etiquette can turn the courting process into something it should never mean to anyone — total disaster.

When calling a girl for a date, for instance, it is improper for a guy to reverse the charges. This could give the girl the impression that he’s somewhat of a cheap guy. And this may not necessarily be so. The reason he may be calling collect is because he needs the only two rolls of quarters he has for some video games. But she may not know this. (And it would be best that he not explain it to her.)

The proper thing for a guy to do is to pay for the call. And, if calling from a pay phone is necessary, he should always have extra change at hand just in case the conversation runs a little longer than expected. If the girl’s mother is known to talk a lot, he should have at least thirty dollars worth of quarters with him. If he doesn’t use up all the change, she’s probably adopted.

It is improper for the girl to ask what kind of car the guy drives in order to decide whether or not to go out with him. However, if his first name is Lee, it is not out of line to ask if his last name happens to be Iacocca. If he says “yes,” to avoid possible embarrassment after a two hour conversation, she should verify that he has the right number. If he does, she should skip the conversation and just ask, “What time are you picking me up?”

If the guy claims to be a Colonel, and says his initials are MQ, it is in the girl’s interest to ask if he happens to be in charge of a country called Lybia. If he says “maybe,” she should tell him he reached a wrong number in Krakatoa. If he says a definite “yes,” she should tell him he reached the Union of Organized Crime Families, and if he doesn’t hang up in ten seconds she’ll send someone over to fit him with a pair of cement shoes.

When arriving for the first time at a girl’s house and she is not yet ready, the guy should patiently make casual conversation with her parents. (If she lives with her parents, that is. If she doesn’t, he should not ask to use her phone just to call them.) Showing a lack of interest in her parents and appearing too eager to just pick her up and leave would probably not lie in his best interest. But under no circumstances should he ask her father, “Can you lend me twenty dollars? I’m a little short today. I’ll pay you back at the wedding.”

If by some stroke of stupidity he already made the mistake of asking her father for money, the only thing to do at that point is to closely observe the father’s reaction, this should tell the guy where he stands. If the father whispers something into the mother’s ear, the father doesn’t like him. If the father asks the guy where he’s taking their daughter and what time she can be expected home, the father doesn’t trust him. If the father reaches into his (own) pocket and pulls out forty dollars instead of twenty, then asks the guy what color table cloth goes well with a white tuxedo, if it’s a blind date, the guy is in one big heap of trouble.

It is not right for a girl who is being picked up by a date to allow her aunt and uncle to drop by under the pretense of running “out of tea bags” and for the express purpose of interrogating the guy for hours to see whether he is “financially stable” and “worthy of our niece.” Such charades are usually obvious from the outset anyway. The aunt and uncle being dressed in formal attire is usually a dead giveaway. What kind of tea were they planning to make? A Lipton cuisine? It’s even more obvious if the guy happens to know that the girl’s only aunt and uncle live as far away as Albuquerque. Where did they run out of tea bags? At home? On the plane? Or in the cab from the airport?

On the other hand, even if expecting a few questions concerning one’s livelihood when picking up a date, it is still considered in poor taste for the guy to bring along his accountant and financial statements. However, it is okay for him to sew a microfilm of his W2 forms of the past four years into a lapel just in case her relatives get really rough.

When the guy and the girl finally leave her house, he should open the car door for her. If he doesn’t have a car and they take the subway, he should disregarded this custom and allow the subway conductor to open the doors. Getting arrested can really ruin a date.

Taking a girl to an exquisite restaurant is fine. But ordering every over-priced item on the menu just to impress a date with one’s limitless cash reserves (and perhaps with the ability to pronounce certain menu items), is overdoing it a bit. If she were really that interested in money she’d have gone out with his orthodontist. (If the guy is an orthodontist, he should always take a girl to a pizza shop on the first date. If the relationship survives, she’s not after his money. If she keeps going back to the pizza shop without him or his money, he picked on some strange girl who likes pizza more than anything else in the world.)

By the same token, the girl should not be too eager to order everything on the menu as to become the cause of the guy’s overspending. He may not really be able to afford it. The fact that he drives a Caddy and wears a fancy suit doesn’t necessarily mean he’s rolling in dough. Caddys can be bought on “payments” or rented, and suits can be charged to credit cards. In this respect, appearances can indeed be very deceiving. If you took away everything people do not actually own, many aspects of life would undergo drastic changes. Weddings would certainly never be the same. Brides would probably wear leotards, grooms would dress in faded jeans, and wedding guests would wear shorts. Rock stars would ride around on stretch-bicycles. Traffic in midtown Manhattan would be reduced to one car per ten square blocks, and no longer would crossing the street be considered a bold and courageous act. Traffic Department tow trucks would have to resort to towing away baby carriages and shopping carts just to keep up their image as a public nuisance.

Of course, some false appearances of being well-to-do are not exactly accidents. Deliberate exaggeration sometimes plays a major role in this deceptive process. But with a keen and alert mind, a girl should be able to weed out some of the misinformation being fed to her. For example, when a guy says he owns a Porsche, two private jets, and a UFO, that should be a good tip-off. Why would one person need two jets?

But even if the guy can very well afford to buy everything on the menu, there is no need to encourage expensive, price-gouging restaurants. For the kind of exorbitant prices some restaurants charge, the waiter should go home with you and serve breakfast in bed for two weeks, or the management should at least allow you to take home your table and chairs. If you also had dessert, you should be allowed to take home the curtains too. Why shouldn’t you get your money’s worth? It is quite disheartening to know that for the price of two steaks in one of New York’s “finer” restaurants you can buy an entire bull in Mexico and have enough money left over to build an arena around it.

If entertainment is on the agenda for the evening, it is of utmost importance that the couple agrees on something mutually enjoyable. There are methods of compromising without totally relinquishing preferences. For instance, if the couple has finally narrowed the entertainment options down to a movie but just can’t agree on which one, they might want to look for a sixplex theater. This way, they can each see different movies yet still be in the same building. But the guy should refrain from running back and forth with the popcorn. This may disturb other patrons.

When taking the girl home at the end of the evening, it is proper for the guy to walk her to the door. If he had a good time, it is okay to show interest in setting up another date. But he should not ask, “What are you doing for breakfast?” At least enough time should be allowed for her aunt and uncle to return to Albuquerque. If, on the other hand, he did not enjoy the evening, and has no intentions of going out with her again, simply dropping her off is sufficient — it would be totally out of line for him to tie a name-and-address tag to her coat button, drop her off at some random corner, and say, “If you can read, you’ll make it home.” This kind of thing just isn’t done.

No girl should call all her friends the next day and tell them every last detail about the date — where they went, what they did, every word they spoke, etc. A guy’s privacy should be respected. If it’s really all that exciting, she should write it down and submit it to a television studio as an idea for a mini series. For a twenty percent cut, most guys will give up their privacy.

If the date was a pleasant and enjoyable experience, it would probably be a good idea for the guy to send the girl flowers shortly thereafter. A more novel approach might be to send the flowers with a singing telegram of such hit songs as “You and Me” and “Almost Paradise.” If her feelings turn out to coincide with his, it could be the start of a long and meaningful relationship. However, if she returns a singing telegram of the songs “Against All Odds” and “Dust in the Wind,” he would be well advised to once more begin looking through his little black book. And next time, stick to a candy-gram.

by Josh Greenberger from shopndrop.com



Dating Humor